Here then, is that new-look Arsenal XI in full, complete with its entirely new-look front three: Raya; Calafiori, Gabriel, Saliba, Timber; Rice, Zubimendi, Odegaard; Williams, Cunha, Isak.
You can’t deny that is indeed a ‘stunning’ XI. One that has no chance of ever existing in this or any other universe, sure, but stunning nonetheless.
United punt
The Mirror aren’t done there, mind. Manchester United also have a dream, and it too involves four – sorry, FOUR – new arrivals. In this instance, merely Alphonso Davies, Bruno Guimaraes, Dani Olmo and Viktor Gyokeres. Which seems halfway plausible after the Arsenal nonsense.
But how can beleaguered Ruben Amorim pull all this off while United risk becoming embroiled (see?) in a relegation scrap?
He just needs to persuade Ratcliffe to loosen the purse strings first.
Ah.
Athletic prowess
We’re allowing ourselves one of these and one only as it’s the first Mediawatch of the transfer window and we can’t let it pass without acknowledging at least one example of our favourite bit of technically-correct-is-still-correct Reach headline housery at this time of the year.
Arsenal complete first transfer of January window as defender deal sealed
How else could you possibly describe Wigan signing 20-year-old Josh Robinson, a man who made zero senior appearances for Arsenal?
Sterling work
The first Mediawatch of January being both Reach and Arsenal heavy: what a huge shock to absolutely nobody that is. Anyway, the Mirror again here with a classic one-two.
Headline shot:
Arsenal could cut short loan deal as Raheem Sterling transfer decision made
Intro chaser:
Arsenal have no intention of cutting short Raheem Sterling’s loan deal – but are reviewing their options with Premier League rules limiting their recruitment.
Hair today
The truly gargantuan news from the world of football this chilly January morn, though, actually concerns a former Arsenal player.
That’s right, Granit Xhaka has had a hair transplant.
We’ll give you a moment to take in the sheer enormity of a tale that clearly justified, nay required, a 400-word, five-photo Mail Online update.
Recovered your composure? Good. Now we can hit you with this.
Xhaka stunned fans on social media last month when he was spotted with shaved head, in sharp contrast to his flowing locks of old, while on holiday with his wife Leonita Lekaj and their two children.
Sorry, what? Flowing locks? Granit Xhaka? Flowing? Locks?
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